Lately, we’ve been thinking about how lucky we are. We have loving families, enough money, friends and basically anything we could wish for. And still, we find ourselves being unhappy and discontent with our lives quite often. So we decided to write a list with different things we want to do in order to become happier.
Focus on our blog
We think that for us it is really important to have something to do in your free time that is still kind of productive. That way you can do something that you love without feeling like you’ve achieved nothing. We decided to just put lots of effort into our blog, but essentially this could be anything that you enjoy doing.
Fake it until we make it
This one pretty much explains itself, but what we mean specifically is that, for example, we try to smile while walking somewhere because we feel like that always changes our mood for the better. We also want to do lots of exciting things and not just stay inside in front of our computers the whole time.
Always have something to get excited about
Last week we went to a Troye Sivan concert. It was something we were both really excited about and had been looking forward to it for months. For these past months it was always something we could think about to lift our moods. However, after the concert we noticed that we got quite sad and disappointed that it was over. We therefore decided that we always want to have something to look forward to, and already plan a new thing before the first one is over, in order to avoid that “now it’s over”-feeling.
Make an effort and choose to be happy
For this one I put a reminder in my phone that tells me every morning to try to be happy. We just want to make sure that we choose happiness over anything else and always make an effort to see the positive aspects in all things.
Be okay with being sad every once in a while
Just because we want to try to be happier does not mean that we can’t be sad ever, just as Meredith once said “Not everyone can be happy all the time. That’s not mental health – that’s crap”. We completely agree with her there and think that it’s really important to acknowledge that everyone is sad every once in a while and that this is totally okay.
Talk about our feelings
We think that in order to be happy, you have to talk about what’s going on inside you and not bottle it up. Whether it’s things that annoy us that could be changed easily or any worries that we might have: talking usually makes it better. In German we have a saying called “Geteiltes Leid ist halbes Leid” which translates to “Shared suffering is half the suffering”, which I always found to be true.
Be kind to ourselves
The next really big thing that we have on our list is being kind to ourselves. As so many people have said before us, if you said any of the things you tell yourself every day to any of your friend, you’d lose all of them veeeery quickly. This means we really have to stop putting ourselves down over stupid things, like saying something dumb accidentally, or not working out for a day. We’re trying our best and that is more than enough.
Do things that make us happy even if we’re bad at it
For example, I (Caroline) really like singing and drawing and in general doing kind of creative things. Unfortunately, I’m just really not good at any of them, which often stops me from doing them. And we think that this has to stop. Just because we don’t excel at something doesn’t mean we can’t do it just to have fun.
In order to feel good mentally, you also have to feel good physically. So we think that we should try to eat relatively healthy, work out and drink lots of water. But what’s really important about this point is that we in no way want to pressurize ourselves about being healthy. If we really want that doughnut, then we want to be able to eat it without feeling guilty. This point is about just being aware of our health and trying to make good choices and in no way about being perfect.
Don’t put pressure on ourselves
This kind of relates to some other points above, like being kind to ourselves, but this is more specifically about not putting pressure on ourselves. Whether it is about always getting perfect grades, or always being liked by everyone, or anything else, it’s important to be aware that it’s okay to be imperfect. It’s fine. It happens. We can’t let ourselves be brought down because we have insanely high expectations of ourselves.
Be ok with who we are
I (Helena) have often tried to be like others. This might be a person I know in real life or some celebrity. I googled stuff like “how to be like Cara Delevingne” or “how to dress like Taylor Swift” and I realized that this won’t help me feel better about myself. As Gloria Gaynor says: I am who I am. I don’t need to change to feel better about myself or to please others (especially not to please others), but I need to accept myself the way I am. We both struggle with self-confidence from time to time, but I think we are on the right track to change that.
If you enjoyed this post, please like, comment and follow our blog!
Caroline and Helena